My husband rummaged through the kitchen cupboards, looking for curry ingredients.

‘We’ve got enough of these to sink a battleship,’ he said, producing two packets of yellow split peas.

‘Perhaps they could be issued to the Royal Navy then,’ I replied, ‘with some pea shooters. It might help with the MOD overspend.’

I imagined a doubtful Commander Bond, having received his impalpable sports car and curare dart watch, being presented with the innovative new ammunition by ‘Q’.

‘Shplit peash?’ he would say, raising a dark, quizzical eyebrow.